The Longest Wait

Yesterday’s attempt at free publicity is already behind me, but now that the cameras are put away and the lights aren’t glaring in my eyes anymore, I find myself anxious to see how it turned out.  The cast and crew were at my clinic for about an hour and probably put together a minute and a half segment for the news tonight.  The question is what parts will they show for the minute and a half ?  (btw, that’s roughly one tenth the minimum personal allowance according to Andy Warhol, which doesn’t seem quite fair.  It seems that there are way too many people out there that are getting far more of their allotment than they should.  Don’t I deserve at least the full 15 minutes?).  There was the interview which would have been wonderful if it weren’t for my 10 pound swollen tongue which mangled my words and the super slidey sofa which had me slouching and crouching like one of the hobbits from The Lord of the Rings (My Precious…).  Followed by about 4 or 5 shots of me pretending to pop some detox pills and wash them down with water (You won’t believe how technically difficult it can be to take pills).  And then about 10 minutes of still video footage of the Cleanse Smart Detox Box.  So, out of my interview, my taking pills or the footage of the box I’m guessing that the box is going to grab the spotlight away from me.  It is certainly the more photogenic of the two of us.  It didn’t flub its lines.  And it had a lovely colour scheme (I’m not sure how the white balance works on Asians such as myself.  If the camera wasn’t a Sony, I’d probably call it a racist).  But anyway, the show won’t air until 6PM tonight on Global, so I won’t know how much of a leotard I was until then.  For now, I am just stuck imagining the outcome and alternately calling up people telling them to watch the news or stay away from their TV sets.   All this for some free publicity.